I was talking to my cousin on the phone yesterday. He laughed and said, "Remember10 years ago when you used to call me up and tell me your crazy dating stories? It is like we are back there again!" It is true. I distinctly remember telling him about this guy who asked me for my phone number (not cell phone but the kind of phone you plug in the wall) and I told him if he wanted it that bad he would figure it out. hahaha. I used to be so so cocky. Oh he did figure it out BTW. See there was a reason for my "confidence". The truth is....dating has CHANGED so much in the last decade. Not to mention...I've changed a little too.
One obvious change for me is.....I have children. Dating for a Mom is challenging. It is so complicated. I don't want to involve my children in my dating escapades BUT there is a fine line. What if I go out with a guy for a while....like a couple of months and I decided he should meet my kids. And then he meets them and he doesn't like them. I mean, come on...we can all admit the idea of children is much different than actual children. Or what if he thinks I am a terrible mother or hates my parenting style or sees me as a "mommy" rather than a sexy goddess (hahahahahaha) and doesn't like it? I just hate investing time into something that is going nowhere. And there is the time thing...my children are with me most of the time. Yes my parents are great and do babysit for me but I don't want to burden them. I met this one guy and we talked for a while but he REFUSED to meet my kids. While I do sympathized with his reasoning (he had a mother that dated A LOT and he said he had many, many "Uncles" in his life), I thought it was silly that he couldn't even meet them. And it really complicated things. Rule #1, I make the rules about my kids. I have lots of friends both male and female...my children have met them. They come and go. I do not ask my children to call them aunt or uncle. My first goal in life is to protect them and I am pretty sure I know what is best for them.
Other things have changed too. Cell phones, texting, picture phones, facebook and the internet in general....well that has just completely changed the game. Dating websites are completely fascinating. You can browse hundreds of profiles and based on a few pics and a little blurb about them...you can decided who your future mate might be. It is like window shopping. I wish I could figure out how to post some of these profiles on here to share. Oh Lordy.....that is about all I can say. People are not too shy to just say what they are looking for. I can appreciate that. In the end it can save some hurt feelings. But sometimes I do like the game of figuring it all out. I am on a free dating website. It is so complicated (yes, more complications). I've never been a good rule follower. I think it is some sort of unwritten rule that you shouldn't talk to anyone on the dating site about other experiences you've had on there. I think that is silly. We don't have to pretend here. And really, lets say you go out with someone a few times or you even talk to someone....does that mean you have to stop looking at the dating website? I mean what if I do and he doesn't? Do you have to have a discussion about it? I don't think it is a good idea to ASSume. If I talk to more than one guy at a time - is that okay? Or would they all get mad if they knew about each other. I mean....if you commit to a date that doesn't mean you are committed to dating exclusive but..... It is all just so complicated. Is it bad to go out with more than one guy on the same weekend? On the same day? I really don't have a problem with it and actually think it is the most efficient way to handle all this. lol
So let's talk about cell phones. Geesh. I can actually text many people at the same time. I don't even have to hang up from one before I answer a question for another. It is crazy. Who has time for all this? It is like having an extra part time job. And did you know sexting is not just for horny teenagers? Apparently it is for horny middle aged people too....just not as pretty. Several men have told me about women who they have only casually talked to sending them "dirty" pics. Isn't that just crazy? One guy sent me a picture of himself...in the nude...only covering his package with his hand. I told him I wasn't interested. He called me a prude. hahahahahha
And what about Facebook? When do you let a guy in on that? I mean you let a guy be your friend....you get to see his page, you can share pics and you really can learn a lot about someone. But what if you are talking to more than one guy? What if you like one more than the others? What if one guy does something completely hysterical or says something rude or takes you to a nice dinner????? You can't really talk about it if you are friends with them all on Facebook. It is so complicated. I mean if a guy I am talking to sends me a friend request and I don't accept it.....he's gonna be offended or think something is up. Also if you are a guy and we are in some sort of dating status...you can expect to get a friend request from my friend Jennifer. She is my virtual wing (wo)man. I need her opinion. I used to say I have bad taste in men. She says I have interesting taste in men. She plays devils advocate. Sometimes she points out the good I am overlooking....and sometimes she states the obvious that I am ignoring. I so appreciate her.
It is all a little stressful. Part of me could care less if I ever date. Really. I am a free bird. But I do miss having a partner. I miss affection. I think I need a hug. HA. Did I just say that? I am kidding kinda.
One last question....do people ask other people out in person anymore? I did have not one but two different men ask me if I was married yesterday. I thought that was funny but I suddenly felt very shy. Even though I am pretty sure neither of them men were hitting on me. I don't know. In some ways I am much more confident than back in the old days....but it is still OH SO COMPLICATED.
Have a good one today. Peace....
